Things have come to a pretty passOur romance is growing flat,For you like this and the otherWhile I go for this and that,Goodness knows what the end will beOh I don't know where I'm atIt looks as if we two will never be oneSomething must be done:You say either and I say either,You say neither and I say neitherEither, either Neither, neitherLet's call the whole thing off.You like potato and I like potahtoYou like tomato and I like tomahtoPotato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto.Let's call the whole thing offBut oh, if we call the whole thing offThen we must partAnd oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heartSo if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas,I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmasFor we know we need each other so weBetter call the whole thing offLet's call the whole thing off.You say laughter and I say larfterYou say after and I say arfterLaughter, larfter after arfterLet's call the whole thing off,You like vanilla and I like vanellaYou saspiralla, and I saspirellaVanilla vanella chocolate strawberryLet's call the whole thing offBut oh if we call the whole thing of then we must partAnd oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heartSo if you go for oysters and I go for erstersI'll order oysters and cancel the erstersFor we know we need each other so weBetter call the calling off off,Let's call the whole thing off.I say father, and you say pater,I saw mother and you say materPater, mater Uncle, auntie let's call the whole thing off.I like bananas and you like banahnahsI say Havana and I get HavahnahBananas, banahnahs Havana, HavahnahGo your way, I'll go mineSo if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters,So all right no contest we'll order lobseterFor we know we need each other so weBetter call the calling off off,Let's call the whole thing off.